Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Secrets of a Happy Marriage

The hubs and I celebrate a B-I-G milestone this weekend. This Friday we will be married TEN years! Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday we stood up before God, our family and friends and proclaimed our everlasting love for each other – and then spent the evening dancing the night away.
Married for ten years, together almost 19 years (we started dating in 1993!!) I think I am qualified to put together a post about the secrets to a happy marriage. Actually, it’s no secret – marriage is hard work! It requires commitment and dedication, but it’s totally worth it to see a future path of happiness and marital bliss ahead.
Sorry for the photo quality!  Back in 2002 when I got married, photographers still used FILM!  I used my digital camera to take photos of the photos today!
1. Marriage requires COMMITMENT. You have to be eternally committed – to yourself, your spouse, your relationship, your faith. You can’t waiver, you can’t falter – you need to commit to being there for each other – through thick and thin (remember those vows? Sickness and health and all that stuff?).
2. A long lasting relationship takes PATIENCE – an insane amount of patience. Don’t kid yourself. No matter how much you love your spouse, there will be days (weeks) where your spouse will drive you crazy! It is important to be patient, work through the insanity and bring yourselves back to the path of true happiness.
3. Talk it out – you need COMMUNICATION to succeed together. Hopefully the person you married is your best friend – I know my husband is mine! We can talk about anything, anytime. Some days it’s remembering to sit and go over the schedule for the week, other days its long debates about serious topics. What’s most important is knowing that you always have a shoulder to cry on if you need it and someone to listen to you vent when you need!
4. You can’t hear each other unless you LISTEN. This one seems pretty self-explanatory, but it bears mentioning. You have to listen to more than just the everyday conversations that occur between you and your spouse. You need to hear what they are saying to truly understand what they are thinking and feeling. This goes hand in hand with communication, but more so because you need to hear what’s going on in his heart to succeed as a couple.
5. You gotta keep the FAITH. I am going to be honest – I took seriously my marriage vows. We stood in a church before God, our family and friends and promised to love, honor and cherish my husband. And I will, til death do us part. I know that not everyone believes in God, or goes to church – and that’s fine. As long as you have faith in your life – faith in yourself, faith in each other, you will succeed. For me, I just love knowing that God is in our corner, helping us to succeed in our marriage. OK, enough preaching, onto the next topic.
6. Don’t sweat the SMALL STUFF. I may be a schedule-crazy, menu planning, taxi driving mama, but if you let one little hiccup in your day ruin the rest of your day, you are bound to fail. Same thing in your marriage – if you let one of your spouse’s traits get to you, or if you nitpick each other over every little thing, you’ll never be happy. Make sure you take a few minutes to yourself each day if you feel like you’re going crazy. That 20 minute break from life can put those small things into perspective.
7. Let’s talk about SEX, baby. Now I’m not going into the juicy details, but we all know that sex is an important part of a healthy marriage. It’s not a numbers game or anything like that, but you and your spouse need to make each other happy, in lots of ways. Enough said.
8. Make your own FAMILY TRADITIONS. We are lucky. Like REALLY lucky. Our families always manage to split the holidays and important days easily. The hubs’ family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve, my family does Christmas Day. We do Thanksgiving with the hubs’ family on Saturday, and mine on Sunday. It works out great for us. We have created a wonderful, dynamic experience for our kids that works out famously. We know that on Family Holiday weekends that the kids will be sleep deprived, over sugared and showered with gifts by pretty much everyone we see, and that’s ok. We’ll catch up on sleep later, right now, we’re making memories!
9. LAUGH. EVERY DAY. I am so blessed to be married to a crazy, hilarious, wonderful man. He makes me laugh every single day. Even when I’m feeling down, or when I am sad, he can manage to sing/dance/act like a fool to make me smile, even when I don’t think it’s possible. It gives me great joy to know that when we are old and gray, he will still be making me laugh.
10. HARD WORK. DEDICATION. This was a mantra from one of the fitness trainers on the TV show the Biggest Loser a couple of years ago, and I LOVE it. It holds true in so many facets of our lives, but especially so in marriage. Marriage takes hard work – it takes getting up every day and being willing to put your spouse and their happiness above everything else in the world. It takes dedication – you have to be there through all of it – the good, the bad and the ugly, and no matter how hard it gets, you have to dedicate yourself to getting through it. Together.
I think this may be the longest post I’ve ever written! I hope you enjoyed the photos from our big day so many years ago – look how young we look! I was skinny! Brett had hair! So much has changed, almost all of it for the better.
We have two gorgeous red headed crazy children who keep us on our toes and give us lots of reasons to laugh together, and challenge us. After ten wonderful years together, I can only hope we have 60 more ahead of us!

I will be linking this recipe up on Serenity NowA Bowl Full of Lemons andDelightful Order.

8 comments:

  1. Wow Rachel.. very well said!

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    1. my name is Mark Godswin am here to share testimony of how i got back my relationship that was scattered for months. we got married for more than 7 years and have gotten three kids. things were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my wife started behaving in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way she treat me and the kids. for months she did not come home again and she called me for a divorce, i asked her what have i done wrong to deserve this from her, all she was saying is that she want a divorce that she hate me and do not want to see me again in her life, i was mad and also frustrated and do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 3 weeks because of her intention towards me. i love my wife so much and can do anything for her. i told my brother and he told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Ehino through his website, for the return of my wife to me, he told me that my wife have been taken by another man, that he cast a spell on her that was why she hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on her that will make her return to me and the kids, Dr Ehino cast the spell and after 1 week my wife called me and she told me that i should forgive her, she apologizes on phone and said that she did not know what happened to her. it was the spell that DR Ehino cast on her that made her return back to me today,me and my family are now happy again. thank you Dr Ehino for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for HIS great spell. i want all my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact {ehinomespellcaster@gmail.com or through his website ehinomespellcaster.yolasite.com.webs.com} if you need a supernatural great wizard to cast a spell for you. email Dr Ehino and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.These are the few things he also do for people. *do you need rapid and undeserved promotions in your offices or work? Dr Ehino can bring back lost lovers on 96hrs and can cast all kind of spell. Dr Ehino is a healer that is here on earth to solve your problems just as he did to mine.this is your chance to be helped quickly by Dr Ehino.his an expert in distance healing, court cases even if one is convicted. he can do all manner of spell that you may need in life.he can also make you conceive a child and win money through gambling and other things you may desire to have in life. contact him and be the next to share his good work to the world. ehinomespellcaster@gmail.com +2348036345198 or website:http://ehinomespellcaster.yolasite.com) God bless!!!

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    2. I am hear to give testimony of how I got back my husband, we got married for more than 2 years and we have two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way I could not understand, I was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come again and he called me that he want a divorce, I asked him what have I done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying that he want a divorce and that he hates me and do not want to see me again in his life, I was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do, I was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. I love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. I told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, I never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. I just want to try if something will come out of it. I contacted Dr. Azuka, at (dr.azukasolutionhome@gmail.com) for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman that she cast a spell on him that is why he hates me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they cast the spell and after 3 days my husband called me and he told me that I should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that the Dr. Azuka, casted out on him that made him come back to me, today me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr. Azuka, for what you have done for me I would have been nothing today if not for your great help. I want you my friends who are passing through this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact (dr.azukasolutionhome@gmail.com) or Whats App him on +2348132777335 and you will see that your problem will be solved

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  2. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Great Work Rachel. So Wise.

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  3. I agree with tip #5 You gotta keep the FAITH. The strongest bond that can or will hold couples together is their faith. This is the simplest, most basic, and most powerful tip that couples often disregard; to make faith the center of their relationship. I hope you’ll be happily married for more years to come!

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